If you have ever thought to yourself; "What happens when the people at major financial institutions have to wait between bits of work finishing?", well the answer is usually find something else to eat. However recently, thanks to an inspired moment of lunacy from Miss P, we bring to you the smash hit from the summer of 1986 re-worded for the binge-drinking generation. Obviously, writing something about chavs would be easy, and they wouldn't work as well with the 'source material', so here is the middle class - far too much wine - surprised man in chinos - version. With full accreditation, and directions for the music video too...
Lady Gone RedWith sincere apologies to Chris De BurghNew words by Nothing Too Pretentious and Miss PScene: Dark alleyway. Brick wall behind. Man wears sports pullover around shoulders. Man looks thoughtful into middle distance. Gentle movement of busy town centre in background. Music begins. Man sings:I’ve never seen you looking so munted as you did tonightI’d never seen you have a fight-I’ve never seen so many doormen ask you if you wanted to leaveThey’re looking for a little more calm, given half a chanceI couldn’t see that dress you were wearingOh, the highlights in your hair that match your eyes; you might be blindThe lady gone red, is hanging off me, cheek to cheekThere’s nobody here, it’s just you and me, you scared them all awayBut I hardly know, this mad bint by my sideI never will for-get, the way you drank tonightI’d never seen you looking so spaced out as you did tonightI’d never heard you talk such sh*te, you were amazingI’d never seen so many police want to be there by your sideThey threw us out the pub, they took our drinks awayAnd I have never had such a feelingSuch a feeling of complete and utter shame, as I do tonightThe lady gone red, is hanging off me, cheek to cheekThere’s nobody here, it’s just you and me, you scared them all awayBut I hardly know, this mad bint by my sideI never will for-get, the way you drank tonig-hightI never will for-get, the way you drank tonightThe lady gone redThe lady gone redThe lady gone redMy lady’s gone red.Scene: Dark alleyway, wider shot. Man holding wife’s hair back as she vomits spectacularly. Fade out with close up on man’s crushingly disappointed face.
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