I've been taking some pictures of myself with the artistic looking / moody beard that has been steadily covering my lower face, and one picture in particular proves I suffer from the rare condition of John Barnes Disease.
Yes, like the former England forward and occasional rapper, the lower half of my face is at least a third bigger at the bottom than the top.
Observe:
I'm not the dancers, by the way. Did you know that John Barnes was Newcastle's leading goalscorer in 1997/1998 with SIX goals?
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